An update from Victoria on the Believing Project.

If you would like to read the original post about the agreement she and I made, please click here.

Living the life I love, Loving the life I live… has been my mantra throughout 2011.

I have continued “Asking the Universe to Dance in my manifestation of Wealth.” This past year  I saw a family incident/dynamic transpire before my eyes.  My initial reaction to the situation was frustration, then sadness and then my life time question received an “ah!”.  I had witnessed my family legacy that is not something I want to inherit, or pass on to my children.

The “lack of”, the “less than”, the “I am not good enough”mentality, which often leads to my fight for position, proving my worthiness, to be seen and to count has always been an underlying feeling in my life. Throughout my life I was not aware that I carried this disposition, but I always felt not quite right, feeling like there was something I wanted to shake.

Upon witnessing the incident with a family member, I finally recognized the dynamic, and decided to CLEARLY define for myself NO MORE.

I can break this legacy.  I can LIVE the legacy that honors life, authenticity and wealth of this existence.

I know that each struggle, disappointment, and hurdle allows me the ability to dig deep, reach higher and not only overcome, but find my own happiness, peace and grace.

This past week I started off my vacation with this understanding beaming through my heart.  I ventured out on a day trip to Ventura.  The site of my life dream and future business venture: A retreat…a way to live the life I love and love the life I live while sharing it with others and being of service to the community.

I envision it as an extension of my boutique, a place to stay and “treat” oneself to a more extensive celebration of that which is beautiful to you.

My dear friend and I got in my Tahoe and headed toward the 23 freeway…mind you I had wanted to travel this route, but could not remember the name and where it was on our journey.  I had several people recommend the best, most scenic, easiest route from Shadow Hills to Ventura…none included the 23. So, after a slight detour for gas, we hopped on a completely different freeway than my pre-determined route.  We chatted along the way. My traveling companion recommended the route she had taken previously when her job had been in the same vicinity as we were headed.  Low and behold it was the beautiful route 23!!! I had also traveled it previously, but anyone who knows me is aware that I don’t remember names and I am terrible with directions.

In the excitement of finding myself on this route, I somehow had gotten off the freeway and realized I needed to make a U-Turn and get right back on the freeway .  I made the U-Turn safely, but I definitely was not paying attention to the double yellow lines I crossed. The flashing red and blue lights flashing behind me told me, “Ugh, I was being pulled over.”

When the officer asked why I crossed the double yellow on this main street, my response was simple and true “I was confused.”  I had let the excitement of finding this route, the newness of the drive, and the thoughts spinning through my head that I was starting the steps to my Dream…the Retreat.  The police officer was very nice and understanding as he listened to what we were trying to accomplish. He chatted with us offering good advice on direction. He let us go on our way without a ticket, what a wonderful surprise!!! That was the first time in my life I have ever NOT gotten a ticket when I was pulled over.

Just a bit longer and we arrived safely in the city of Ventura.

Our first destination spot was a local cafe right in the middle of the town village. Just a few blocks above the ocean and a place to provide sustenance for our bodies and souls.  We pulled into a front parking spot and walked into a charming place with all the decor that pleased me and made me feel very comfortable. Our waiter was wonderful…gave great recommendations.  We had a rich and delicious salad (yes a rich and delicious salad!).

Filling my heart even fuller…Risotto!  A favorite, but hard to find Risotto done well.  As this day and story is going, OF COURSE the Risotto was fantastic…even made with chicken rather than lobster…which I usually have to substitute.  A good, hearty glass of red wine to round off the meal.  A delightful and nourishing way to start the walk through this community.

After finishing lunch, we started toward the door I asked “Did you notice if there were parking meters?” I hadn’t looked upon our arrival, I had just jumped out of my vehicle and headed in for lunch. When we walked out the door, we found a meter.  There was no parking ticket, the Universe was on our side…so we paid the meter and started on our walk through town.

We found wonderful stores, shopped and looked at what the area offered, there was nothing similar to my boutique.  It seems we can move up here and not have any competition with what we have to offer.

We looked at the local hotel, motels and bed & breakfast establishments.  There again it appeared there was nothing like my retreat concept…it seems we will have the opportunity to provide a place that will enhance the already beautiful charming and community that is Ventura.

We drove around the area for “sites” and found locations we thought would work. I felt at HOME.  I walked with ease, grace and gratitude envisioning my mantra “Living the life I love, Loving the life I live.”

Now I am aware this will be a large undertaking.  It will need much planning and organization. There will be things to “deal with” along the way, but I believe in myself and my dream. Taking this journey toward manifesting my “Life that I Love”, means no more family legacy of “I am not worthy”, “I am less than others, so it can’t be mine”, no more “fighting for my place, happiness or worthiness.” I can’t wait as I embark on this new path to my dream.

As I walk this path, this New Year of 2012….. I will do so with Ease, Grace, Good People by my side, and knowing that I am already HOME.  

All is allowed there, whatever you deem to be true for you.

One of the lists I received was from a man who is a very creative and artistic soul whom I have known for years. His list of what is in his heart is as follows:

• The ability to make people laugh.
• The love and laughter of my child.
• Spontaneity
• Watching my creative turn into the finished piece.
• Mechanical ability
• Sharing and contributing to the creative process.
• Riding
• Helping people even in the smallest ways.
• BBQ’n for friends
• Cooking
• Being active

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Another list was provided by a Grandmother who lost her lifelong partner, her husband a few years back and her list inspired me with its poetic feel of the truth of our connection to others and this world.

• People suffering the loss of love, be it from death or the ending of a relationship, my Church and my faith, my old pals from ARCO. I have an infinite place in my heart for small children; they are our hope for the future. Hummingbirds, the peace and tranquility I feel when I sit at the oceans shore. Ireland, the feeling of belonging each time I visit. I am a part of its’ soul. Italy and blue-eyed men. The cemetery in Pittsburgh where all of my loved ones are waiting for me, especially John, the love of my life. Childhood friends, because of the unconditional acceptance that you can only get from those bonds formed without question.

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And I asked a younger man in is 20s the same question, “What is in your Heart?”  He is one who chooses to be of service to others and spends “a lot” of time thinking what his heart “wants”…. and here is his list:

He said: “I didn’t know for sure if this was what you where thinking. Let me know what you think. I can do another if this is off. thank you so much, this totally helped clear my mind~ Thank you for allowing me to be apart of this. It really came at a perfect time!”

1: Respect of other’s and their individual reality as their own personal truth at that time.
2: Respect and recognition that “universal” or “divine” order overrides personal perspective and opinion.
3: Recognition that no one person is greater or less than another.
4: Recognition that there are no ordinary moments or accidents.
5: Love for myself and the moment i am in.
6: Love for others with no conditions or prerequisites.
7: Freedom from conditioning.
8: Freedom from expectation, allowing each moment to unfold.
9: True gratitude, radiant joy, and pure love for all that is, was, and ever has been (The Process), regardless of appearance, emotional charge or physical pain, everything is always perfect.
10: Wisdom to know what is true and the courage to take proper action.

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Another list given to me to share was by one of the most enthusiastic people I know, she is always a bright spot in the day of all she comes across. She is a mom of three young children and her days are filled with showing, growing, learning, being, overcoming and laughter!

1. Love, love is first and foremost in my heart.
2. Gratitude
3. To be the best parent, wife, friend, and person I can be.
4. The need to learn as much as I can, the love of reading and learning.
5. To be the change I wish to see in the world. To truly make the world a better place one day at a time. Even if it’s only in small ways.
6. To live a life of financial freedom.
7. To be kinder to myself and take better care of myself.
8. To find my inner peace and connect with the divine daily. I would like to be able to really feel connected everyday.
9. To make time to do what makes me happy everyday.
10. I need people, I wither when I don’t interact with people daily, multiple times daily. I need interaction, I love the positive energy.
11. The power of thought is still a work in progress, but I can grasp it somedays. The power of gratitude is really amazing!
12. Technology makes my life easier and more fun! I love it!

She also said: “I don’t know if this is what you meant, but this is what came to me. I have more simple pleasures in my heart; these were my what came up first. If you need me to change or edit, let me know.

I enjoyed this, thank you for including me. I hope you have a beautiful, creative and inspired day. I forgot joy and excitement! Goofiness too! I love spread joy and love and happiness!!”

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A dear soul, who is always opening her heart to others and providing a safe place, a warm smile and a twinkle in her eyes shared the following with me, after the devastating loss of her younger brother this year.

She said: Hmmmm….excluding people, this may be tough ~

*Health and well being of others
*Hopes to find happiness in/with my own life
*Always carry my childhood memories in my heart
*Animals, especially dogs, are near & dear to my heart
*Thoughts of all those in the military, serving our country

These are quickly off the top of my head…let me put the thinking cap on, focus a bit (away from work!), and finish this up in another message to ya  xoxo.

*Whereas my family unit is so dysfunctional, broken, torn apart, scattered…. I treasure, and hold near & dear to my heart, what few photos I have from when I was little .
* Remembering each and every conversation, and time I shared with my younger brother, who I lost at the beginning of this year.

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Next came someone who lives in my own heart and soul. A creative, moody and kind-hearted man, who wears his losses like a shirt and tie, found inspiration in coming up with his list below.

10 things I love besides people.

1.  Love the smell of oil paint in an artist studio.

2.  Love the way music climbs under my skin and jolts my emotions.

3.  Love to run my hands over wood to be used on a carpentry project.

4.  Love to breath deep while laying in my savasana at the end of yoga.

5.  Love it when i realize god is always standing by my side.

6. Love a really amazing mountain bike ride that pushes my limits.

7.  Love the way raw salmon taste and feels in my mouth.

8.  Love looking into ones eyes and seeing the beautiful spirit of kindness.

9.  Love crossing gigantic bridges over bodies of water.

10.  Love flying at night time with a full moon reflecting off every reflecting surface on the earth.

11.  Bonus!!! Love actually writing this shit!!!   So much, much more!!!

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The next list is from someone who is a partner. She is a sister to me; we seem to always mirror each other in our struggles and successes. Her understanding, support and openness is a gift to so many.

1. Real connection with people
2. Grace
3. Trust
4. To Laugh whole heartily & smile each Day
5. Stability
6. Wealth
7. Health
8. My business to be a destination spot
9. My ranch retreat in Ventura
10. Not be taken advantage of/used

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The following list is from a young lady who I had the pleasure of meeting last year. A vigorous learner of all things that are “self-‘love”, she has a deep desire to excel at all she endeavors. I have no doubt she will succeed.

1. Love
2. Light
3. Emotion
4. my wings
5. peace
6. my creativity (i always say it comes from my heart not my mind)
7. music/song
8. dance
9. ENERGY

And another soul that I spend time listening and learning from each time she speaks as both a wordsmith and knowledgeable shaman, shared the following list:

• My Love for God, Log Home in Big Bear, Fishing, Being with/in Nature, 20lbs lighter, Flow of Money, Play the Castanets, Balance Work and Play, Vacation in Paradise Village, Constant flow of clients…

thank you for asking…

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      This list will be in three parts, concluding tomorrow on Christmas Eve. Tis the season to give and receive. This has been a gift for me, thank you. I want to provide the place appropriately for all those who gave me their heart for the purpose of answering a simple question.

Painting by ChristopherPaul

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

A couple of weeks ago, I reached out to some 25 people asking a specific question. Several of the people I knew well and some only as acquaintances.  I asked the question: “What is in your heart?” I had absolutely no idea what this question would unleash in responses I received and the reaction of those who chose not to participate in answering the question.

My caveat to answering the question was limit it to 10 items and no specific person could be mentioned as being in your heart. There were some shared items from a few participants, but many who took this question to a whole new place.

When I asked this question, I didn’t realize the apparent complexity and fear it created in a couple of individuals. I had people call me and exclaim they had no idea how to connect to their heart, because they lived in their head… and the “heart” was a scary place to visit.

Others answered me within an hour, a seemingly simple enough question with a simple answer.

The answers remind me of how we are all connected. Each one of us, we are the same in our “essence” of being human and subjected to many of the same emotions brought on by outside circumstances. In other words, we all have our triumphs and struggles; many of them are shared as humans.

And in asking the question “what is in your heart”, meaning what are you connected to, have passion and love for beyond those close to you… it also solicits the query: “Now that you have illuminated what is in your heart, do you act to support what is contained there?”

How often do you do the things you love or live from your heart? That is the next question I want answered.

Yesterday I was sitting with Rev. Emma and her daughter Victoria; we were discussing the “heart list” as they had both been included in my original question.  Rev. Emma mentioned how we move from our head to our heart. When we bow our head and pray, what are we looking at? We have moved to being far less than the 18 inches from the top of our head to our heart…. we are now looking directly at our heart when we pray, our head is next to our heart.

And how do we maintain that connection at all times? That is another question I’d love to hear answers to….

Of the answers received there were a few items that popped up on more than one list:

1. God

2. Nature

3. Love

4. Freedom

5. Compassion

6. Loneliness

7. Joy

8. Pain

9. Trust

10. Laughter

I asked my youngest daughter who is 20, what was in her heart. She looked at me and rolled her eyes, the question did not compute. I’m guessing one day, she’ll be able to know as life brings more experiences for her to decide what that means to her in all its glory.

I am sharing my list of 10 items here; in my next post “tomorrow” will be answers to the question from all who shared with me….

My list:

1. Nature: smell, sounds, sight, the feel—it is my church, my peace.
2. The Universe, my higher power and all it provides.
3. The smell of baked goods.
4. The memories of those who have passed that I will always miss.
5. Wide open spaces-its how I like to feel inside of me-spacious.
6. Change: the experience of myself as I observe it all as seasons, reasons, destruction and creation.
7. Compassion for myself and all beings in this world
8. The bliss of my 5 senses, making this earth a sensual, loving, intoxicating and yummy experience.
9. Feeling deeply connected to others through laughter, sadness and everything in between.
10. Art and Beauty in its evocation, complexity, profundity and passion

I ask the question to everyone out there, what is in your heart? Besides a specific person, please elaborate on what that means to you; I would love to hear as a comment here or email me at Tracy@13degreez.com

The Crystal Trunk Show at my place of business, Que Linda Boutique…was a special event from our crystal vendor to our customers. The crystals offered were everything from jewelry to large pieces for the home.

It was a large selection of items for our customers to pick and  choose from, as if they were shopping directly through the crystal warehouse…but instead, the warehouse came to them.

The day started with my mindset of JOY.

With ease I got ready, with ease I  breathed through the morning thoughts of what today would bring.  JOY.  

I had just put on my dress that was comfortable to wear and embraced with the feeling making me Goddess strong.

As I was headed out the door; I gave my beau, Michael a kiss with my eyes, then with my lips and hugged him, while continuing to feel Goddess strong.

I went about opening the boutique and set the daily tone~burning incense, playing a wonderful soul soothing CD, turning on the water fountains, and lighting up the crystal  lamps.

I walked to the card reading room I recently set up toward the back of my boutique.

I looked into the mirror in this room and summonsed God, Buddha, Oracles, Angels, Ancestors, Universe and all light  powers that be…

This day and every day forth: Wealth of LIFE…wealth of Love,  wealth of Joy, wealth of Health, wealth of peace and grace, wealth of Soul  Workers, wealth of PROSPERITY for the boutique, the studio, QL2 & all who work &  provide service.

I looked directly into the mirror and declared a specific dollar figure for the sales of the day for the trunk show.  It was a figure I stretched  further than I felt comfortable, but now know this to be part of my journey…going beyond that which I already know exists.

I continued on with my day.  

We felt an immediate sense of good energy pulsating through the phone and we both were in the place of believing that “it is time.”  Minutes before the event was to start, we already had customers joining us.

At this point, I have not seen tangible steps forward.  Yes, many spiritual opportunities for growth and expanding of my understanding; many synchronistic things have happened, but I have not made a BIG dent in my universal expansion and manifestation of Wealth.

I have worked on many steps to lay a solid foundation for this continued journey of manifestation to Wealth of all areas A-F.  As I have been “working,” there are things constantly revealed to me, that I needed to alter to have wealth. As in all areas of my life: how I “do my business”,view Happiness, LOVE, feed myself, move my body for good health, and how to expose my brand to LA’s consumer society.

I realized that the WAY in which I was doing these things was how I HAD done it in the past.  I needed to update the HOW, like a re-model to a home.  The intention (the foundation) IS Solid, but I need to modernize and upgrade.

The HOW and the WHO I am doing this with…as my very in-tuned friend Tracy eloquently re-stated it is “you need to Deconstruct to Reconstruct.”  EXACTLY!

I have done this very literally with my 2 real estate properties and the Que Linda spaces, but I had not done it with HOW I was running and functioning my business.

I have become VERY clear on the HOW to run the business in alignment with the Business it IS today…not what it was 3 years ago.

I wake up in the morning now, not thinking of what I have to deal with, but what I am grateful for…my love laying next to me, the children in their rooms safe and HOME.

LOVING that I get to really live the life I want. I am healthy and working on increasing that which is good for me…seeing our local favorite chiropractor, Dr. Rion.  Dr  Rion works as a partner in his clients good health.  Reminding you to eat well and to move, because exercise and D-I-E-T are both 4 letter words to me; eating well and moving make more sense and are more in alignment with my views.

The Website is under “construction” to create an updated experience, by offering the customer an immediate way to shop and make appointments from their computer.

And lastly, I want to invite healers and teachers who are professional; bringing their own clientele for us to nurture as collaborative partners and also sharing our customers who want to expand their opportunities to learn and grow too.  A healer who is committed and available in his/her own schedule, dates and times; wanting to rent their own space within our space. Healers and teachers who want a place of their own to Construct a solid business within our collective whole.

So, a few months deeper into this manifestation Journey to Wealth; it is one of monetary riches, happiness on a daily knowing, LOVE-deep and authentic LOVE; health-mentally, physically and spiritually; wealth of my Brand of Que Linda/Body N’ Soul Studio at 3608-3610 1/2 Foothill Blvd.; it is a destination point for the masses. What I have learned to attain this wealth is to “deconstruct” the original mindset of 3 years ago, update, re-model and upgrade all areas in order to Reconstruct the Authentic and Daily Living of WEALTH in all areas, A-F and beyond!

I’ve put myself in a position to show up in my life as though I’m 20 once again, yet now, I’m clear on what I want to do from MY heart. This is the first time I’m leading solely (soul-ly) with my heart.

I know that courage (strength of heart) has become my ally in a way that I never could have imagined, as each minute I choose myself and what I want for me; the opportunities open up and come to me.

This journey has its days when I feel like nothing is going my way, then with every ounce of mental and emotional focus, I STOP. I stop the discouraging voice, the pattern of believing my past is my present and I don’t deserve what I want, and so on… AND then like a lioness I roar!! Overcoming and “changing” a behavior in that moment, it takes time, but I feel different each day. I thought I had self-awareness before, this has moved to a whole new level!

The FUN part is I have absolutely no idea what this will end up looking like professionally or personally; I am just believing and trusting. I have found more confidence that I deserve the list I wrote over two months ago.

You can find that post here .

On my list of 6 items this is where they stand:

(a) Each day, I am writing my book, “knowing” it will be published. It is just flowing right through me and is truly becoming a great love for me!

(b) In September, I was very fortunate to attend the wedding of a dear friend in Mammoth. It was a very grounding experience for me, and a complete joy!  And I have been meeting new people on a very regular basis!

(c) Ah yes, to be blissfully wed to my best friend and soulmate at some point in 2012. I remember when I wrote it, I thought maybe I should put engaged or some other lesser stage of commitment, but this for whatever reason felt right! Call me crazy, but we’ll see! The who; when or where; is a mystery. I keep opening myself up as love in the broadest sense and the most intimate. I know if I’m open and participating in my life happily and honestly, a dynamic, authentic, solid partnership is the outcome. It will be based on intimacy, respect, truth, trust, unconditional love and friendship.

You see settling, is in the past, when it comes to all areas of my life.

(d) In the past week, I have 3 new coaching clients, which I am thrilled to be able to partner with on their journey.  I have also had new clients come in for intuitive readings in the past two months and refer others to me too.

(e) This one is a little different, as much has changed in this particular area of my life. The company I was doing marketing for has come into a little crunch, as the product has not been released as of yet and cash flow grows tighter daily. In the midst of trying to figure out what I was going to do and how I would take on the next part of my existence; I wrote out a proposal and sent it out to a few of my clients, in which I detailed what I was about to embark on in my life. You can read about it here .

What a perfect opportunity for me to take a complete leap of faith, right? If I am committed to “me”, growing my own business, writing my book, etc…then why not make “now” the time? I mean, really…I coach people on leading their lives with their hearts to REALIZE those long forgotten dreams! So, here I am. Scared? Some moments, but I am focused and the more action I take, the more empowered I feel!

In focusing my energy on my coaching practice, my book and my life… I leave behind a nagging fear. I have worked hard to allow my work to bloom. I am 100% believing at this point, folks! So, I hope you will join me as I soar to new heights, overcome the valleys of darkness in myself and realize my dreams! Even though I have no safety net;  I know I won’t be homeless. I know I won’t be alone. I believe I’m  learning to roll with change in a different way- not victimized, but empowered.  I am determined to create what I was afraid to create before…fulfilling prosperity and success in ALL areas of my life.

Nothing is ever as it appears.

No “story” is ever true told from one perspective, unless it is from the heart.

You want truth? Listen to your heart, not your head. It will tell you the truth about yourself, your life and others.

Courage (strength of heart) is a quality that is first and foremost on my list of importance in life. In myself, and holding a space for it in others.

I will not settle for cowardice in a mate; courage is that quality you can rely, because it is the only truth directly related to allowing and sustaining love in a partnership. It is the only real indicator that someone is really, really in your corner. The actions are real, not manipulative or punishing; courage stays with you through it all…yet, first you must find courage in yourself to have it in all of your relationships.

I am watching people come into my life now that are desiring and becoming courageous…or are teaching me more about courage.

My relationships not based in love and courage, will continue to naturally fall away; it’s too much sacrifice, disparity and pain when I am moving beyond my own stories that kept me prisoner. It is too difficult to “pretend” and go along with the story, which someone believes is true, allowing them to choose to remain handcuffed to their prison.

You don’t have to cut people loose, walk away or be a jerk. That can be a painful pattern, when you cut people off forcefully (unless its abusive). Instead, allow it to dissipate on its own. How? Take your focus off the person and put it on yourself.

Over and over if you must.

You will feel peace, not cut off and in pain. It takes a bit of reminding yourself, but the more you do it and stop blaming others for not being courageous-the more you will experience well-being.

The evolution of the heart expands and you bring in other like-hearted people. It’s true; I’m watching it happen in my own life.

We all have courage.

We just need awareness of all the excuses or stories we throw in the way, that keep us in inertia (call it a sense of false peace or contentment–its numbness), denial of our heart, compartments where like a drill sergeant we tell ourselves a story-so we buy it and never have to be courageous. Then we share these stories of ourselves with others, trying to convince them that they are true.

It is to live a life half-lived. 

You lose so much more than you gain, AND you tell yourself stories to make it OKAY about what you let go of in your life. So again you take no action, you live in denial . This way of living will never, ever bring you happiness.

Maybe you had courage at one point, but had too many experiences that hurt, disappointed or left you abandon. You closed up shop and called it a day.

Then there are people who stay stuck in this place and seem like they have it all together, and just maybe you’re the crazy one?

They may be such great storytellers, their lives in perfect order; appearances are deceiving too. Once in awhile their facade cracks and some truth from their heart slips out, oops that feels good….oops, I remember feeling like this before, NOW its time to panic. They backtrack, distance and can make another person feels koo-koo!

They come off coldly intellectual. Unfortunately, for them it’s a vicious cycle, until one day all that tight control gives out and the heart breaks through!!  Sometimes it happens. Maybe this person is YOU? Love is greater than fear.

Don’t wait for it in others, allow it in yourself. 

Courage and vulnerability are the only strength that is real in a human.

We all want to be fully seen and loved for who we are; the first step is to allow ourselves. Open to yourself, be vulnerable, have courage and others will see you as you are—dark, light and everything in between.

When you live your truth; it doesn’t matter if others agree, because “it feels right” to you.  You are connected to yourself and others. 

I know how difficult the transition is from being locked-up; believing the heart would lead me wrong or worse yet, LIE. I had closed off certain parts of myself, living in fear where I avoided things that may cause me to crumble into a pile of rubble. This could have been anything from a terse email to a committed relationship.

 And yet, at the time I told myself I was on this spiritual path and that I was just more advanced in my self-awareness! 

I remember the day my heart opened up and said, “This leg of the journey is over- new trip, new path, new map!”

You see, I had been wishing for true happiness, peace and love.

Well if you wish and pray long enough; it happens. BUT, if you are blocked off and think you’re okay, sorry to break it to you; you’re really numb! Be prepared to let go of the familiar walls, the fortress of a perfect facade and watch what courage and love will do–I wouldn’t trade my journey here for anything. Even the days I couldn’t get out of bed or I was writhing on my floor, when all I felt was pain raining down upon me. I knew if I went THROUGH it, the impossible would become possible in my life.

There are some who will never have courage. 

At some point in their lives, in their mind, too many things happened to hurt them, the way they recovered was to build walls, become numb and tell themselves they are self-aware and smarter than the  rest.

They got the system beat!

Some will stay locked in their prison, they may even tell others what is wrong with them.

They may come off as open and easy, until you get too close or the prospect of them possibly getting hurt or overwhelmed by opening their heart is too much for them to handle. Then they act weird. What they said yesterday, no longer holds water. The love they may have professed for you when their heart broke through for an instant, is replaced by a cold demeanor. It is crazy making … and hard to let go of, because the heart knows. The heart knows there is love, but it is thwarted by a wall.

The best gift is to not stop loving and build a wall; it is to keep love alive. Don’t beat it down. Don’t lock it in a box. Turn the love to yourself; be kind. Love freely and love others, I guarantee…somewhere, somehow someone will come into your life and match you there. I promise you will never be alone as long as you embrace love.

This does not mean to outwardly continue investing in pain with another. It is to love them, don’t purposely stop, allow it to change or shift…allow yourself to love.

Be courageous, through love comes resilience- you find you will be stronger to withstand most anything- you will be surprised. Walls ain’t got nothing on wholeness!

Do your best not to take heed of the words, well-meaning people have in telling you to move on, find someone else, tell someone off or to be strong. That is like going into major surgery and having your leg amputated, you are cutting off a part of you when you act in a way, which appears strong to others, but is really another battle with the heart and mind.

Allow it to be natural.

I am saying this from my own experience, once you stop the battle within to FORCE yourself to stop feeling a certain way, life gets easier…you find the “wonder, hopes and dreams” you lost touch with years ago.  Now with your heart leading the way its all possible.

Love is the freedom, the homebase, if you want to live your life in peace, happiness, fulfillment.

The numbness of walls separates; it holds in weakness created by the mind and its untrue story of love and others; it leads to being alone, involvement in activities meant to self-medicate including “supposed healthy” pursuits, anytime you feel cut  off- there’s a wall involved.

Have the courage to sit with it for a minute, see what feeling is below the numbness and you’ll find a low level of pain you call NORMAL. Maybe, you have had it so long, you figure that is your natural state of being. It’s not.

Maybe when you sit with your numbness, your walls, your boxes: you feel another  emotion, you see an image appearing unrelated to the feeling now, from years ago or one that fits your emotion…ask it questions, learn about the pain you hold….ask if its true?

Pain is a story.  It keeps us victims in our own lives. It keeps us repeating patterns of pain without our seeming awareness.

My favorite alternate tall-tale to creating stories in which you are the victim, are the ones in which you appear to have taken all the responsibility. It is the same thing.

It’s a story that remains on a well-known psychological paradigm: the victim triangle is the victim, perpetrator and rescuer.  

Again, anytime you have a story you cling to or are emotional attached to, you are not living full out. When you claim that someone did something to you and you list all of the things you did for this person; you are living in a helpless position.

You are maintaining a victimhood of all that has happened and courage is not part of the picture. Its difficult to recognize; breaking the pattern of living these stories.

Never believe anything that limits, blocks or throws up walls–it is fear; fear is not true.

Embrace who you are and what you know to be true for yourself.

I say these things based on my experience with “myself” and how I lived for many years. The funniest part was I USED TO THINK I was so strong, so did others–people told me this all the time….yet, I  always ran from anything which would have meant opening my heart, having a real commitment, not just to someone else, but to myself. 

I also watch my clients grow and blossom from their hearts-I watch them transform and have more peace, happiness and LOVE in their lives. 

My clients constantly break through to new ground in courage.

They open doors in different areas of their lives…one by one, out of their head and into the safety, contentment and love of their heart.  

If you want to know your greatest purpose, your greatest love, your greatest  happiness and feel whole, resilient and able to touch the stars with your  dreams…you’ll take the first step toward courage…then you will have it all. 

The work, the boutique, the Soul Workers, my family & friends ALL NOW exist, continue, grow & brought in new ALL out of love, from my deepest place in my soul…My Heart.  So, these 44 years I have lived, grown & expanded…am I at a point that reflects my intention?

I did not realize my TRUE answer would come in the form of our societies latest “life lines”…technology…actually facebook, email & text.

3 days prior to my actual birthday I started to receive messages not just wishing me a happy day…but, of thanks, gratitude & so much more.

And yes because we have this technology it is easier to receive so many well wishes.  But, they do not come, unless someone has the will & want to send them.

So, after 44 years of my own twist & turns along my path, there were these messages sent showing, reflecting my investment & the return…the dividends.

happy birthday victoria !! another year to celebrate the amazing impact you have had on so many lives !  ~Erik (18 yr old, friend of my youngest son’s friend/family friend)

Happy Birthday to you! A beautiful soul on this planet, yes indeed! Hugs!  ~Kelly (an old high school friend)

Happy Birthday my beautiful Goddess!!!! I hope you have an amazing day!!!! I love you very much!!!!!! ♥  ~Vanessa (customer of QLB)

I take great pride in knowing fabulous women. Women who are beautiful, inside and out. Strong and intelligent; embracing being womanly. So glad I know you. Happiest of birthdays to you, Victoria.  ~Tracy (old high school friend)

happy birthday victoria! thanks for all of your generosity and kindness throughout the years.  ~Tanner (my oldest son’s friend)

Seriously when it comes down to parenting, i dont think it gets much better than going home to the women i call my mother. Thanks for everything you have done for me all these years and i just want you to know i love you. Happy birthday YOU DESERVE IT ♥  ~Chace (my youngest son)

Happy birthday!!! Love you and thank you for always wanting and believing the best for me! You deserve the best ♥ have a great day!!!  ~Maddy (my youngest son’s friend)

Happy Birthday V. Love you and what you do best – Que Linda- for all the other beautiful souls like you  ~Shar’on Soul Worker now in Isreal

Happy Birthday to you, Victoria! Wishing you another year of continued abundance in love and life. Thank you for your contribution to beauty in the journey~ ♥  ~Monica (customer of QLB, client to BNSS & 13degreez)

If it were 1  or the over 100 messages, I am making an impact, I am making a change, I am bettering me, those around me & I am doing so in ways of wealth of

Love, wealth of expression (mine or theirs), wealth of the experience, wealth of having my customers become my friends.  yes, my want for the end of this year of manifestation to have measuring points of forward motion: a larger bank account, more customers/clients, more notoriety for our collaborative business, to become a destination point, But Most Importantly in my Heart to Know each step I take is a step of LOVE & helps to elevate Me, My Loved ones, my friends & clients, & even those I still have yet to meet to a Place of Upward & Onward existence while we all experience this great Magic Carpet Ride…LIFE!

Another excerpt from Victoria on her year in BELIEVING:

This is to follow up from the last post about the long shift at the LA Fair for the hair care product.

After ringing product every 5 minutes for 5 hours straight,and realizing that the word or idea I had not pin-pointed with any articulation for my own business was a Destination Place. The people coming to the booth at the fair, showed up specifically for the product. As they approached the booth, they would yell out the product name, and arrive at the booth as though they had finally found the holy grail.

The reputation, brand recognition, education and information brought a sense of urgency to individuals to find the destination and complete the process, which was to obtain (pay) the product.

This is one of the next steps for my business growth and success.

1) We have great “offerings” and services for people.

2) An environment that is Warm and Inviting.

Thanks to this work experience at the fair:

3) We have endeavored to gain more in depth knowledge about the ceremonies, traditions, and the experience of each product and service. We then follow up with our client to educate, inform and understand in a way that works or resonates for them. The intention is to have it be a part of their daily life.

4) And lastly, to have our Soul Workers and Practitioners who LIVE and BREATHE not only their modality, but this WAY of LIFE! Our Business, Our LOCATION offers…to EXUDE their LOVE, their ENTHUSIASM for our Sacred Space.

This last shift brought me the full understanding that we need to become a “destination place” for Seekers, for those who wish to do the work, and walk their path.

Today I worked all day in my beautiful space. New product arrived and set a tone of expansive opportunities for new directions and new paths for our clients to examine.

One client-Anne brought in cookies she had made for us. Her love of our offerings, along with her natural talent to create soul stirring foods brought her to bake with products purchased in our Sacred Space~Que Linda Boutique. She created her love offering of Victorian Lavender Cookies. Lavender was crushed and mixed into the batter. Rose water added to the icing. She brought us Victorian Lavender Cookies with a Rose Water Icing…an offering back to us. We couldn’t keep enough cookies on the plate. People of all tastes, ages and gender not only took a cookie, but LOVED the cookies.

As we relished in this wonderful gesture of LOVE to honor us, one of the last clients of the day came in the door.

Upon stepping into the boutique, Jennifer announced to everyone “I come to La Crescenta for this boutique…it’s My Destination Point!”

Thank you Universe within 24 hours of my full understanding, my request, my want…there was my 1st customer to claim “destination point (place)” and so It Is! I know it’s just the 1st customer looking for her destination. I know the Universe will assist in bringing others whether they acknowledge or not this is a destination place for their Soul…

Universe let’s dance and show others the steps to this dance…we have arrived! This is our destination!